On Becoming a Grandparent
Last July 2019, my first grandchild was born. Those early days and weeks were filled with awe and wonder. Slowly, a love for this new little being that began tentatively grew and grew. Now, eight months on, my heart feels like it’s about to burst when I set eyes on him.
This new life experience made me realise that over the last two decades of working with new parents, I had not given much thought to the role of grandparents. They were always welcome in my Baby & Me sessions when visiting, and I have often had grandmothers buying gift vouchers from me for their children, but I haven’t addressed grandparents directly.
It got me thinking about passing on some tips to grandparents on how to best support their children in becoming parents. These tips have come out of my years of working with new families, as well as my own experiences as a parent and now grandparent.
Do forward this on to any grandparents-to-be.
Grandparenting Top Tips!
It can be tempting to buy lots of things for a new grandchild, especially when it’s your first, but honestly, babies don’t need much at all in the beginning, especially if they have received many gifts already via baby showers or friends all wanting to welcome the baby.
So remember: less is more. Less stuff and more simply being there is often the best kind of support.
Rather than stuff, how about something that will truly support a new mum, such as the gift of a massage, or a block of Baby & Me classes where she will get to relax, bond with the baby, and meet other new mums?
New parents get hungry and tired. When cooking for yourself, make double the quantity and take a nourishing meal around for the new parents. They will love you for it! Well-nourished parents are better able to care for and nourish their new baby.
When you’re visiting, make yourself useful – put the kettle on, and while you’re at it, get the next inevitable wash going. Is there a wash to hang out to dry or one for folding/ironing? Or maybe even hire them a cleaner for a few months.
A listening ear is always appreciated. There can be many concerns about how the baby is doing – rather than trying to ‘fix it,’ simply listen and maybe offer a little reassurance that all babies are different and that ‘this too will pass.’
Let the new parents know how well you think they’re doing. They will, at times, be doubting their abilities in this new role, even if they don’t say so. Your kind words of encouragement can greatly boost their morale.
Importantly, be aware that thoughts about baby care may have changed since you were a new parent, so don’t take offence if your children’s parenting style is different from your own. Our role is to support rather than judge, so only give advice if asked and try to be as constructive as possible.
Last but not least, remember that there are many ways to enjoy your grandchild, and in the beginning, that may mean being that extra pair of hands to wind a post-feed baby, change a nappy, or just offer a loving cuddle while mum eats lunch or goes to the loo!
Happy days indeed!
Grandparents are more than welcome to attend my Let’s Talk about Baby – a great way of learning more about the latest research on babies’ development and needs. Plus, it can be a beautiful experience to share with your own child and will give you lots to discuss.
Please get in touch if you’d like to find out more about gift vouchers for the New Baby & Me course or private sessions, or if you have any questions about how you can help as a new grandparent.