On Becoming a Grandparent
Last July 2019, my first grandchild was born… those early days and weeks were filled with awe and wonder. Slowly a love for this little new being that began tentatively grew and grew, now 8 months on my heart feels like its about to burst when I set eyes on him.
This new life experience made me realise that over the last two decades of working with new parents, I had not given much thought about the role of grandparents. They were always welcome in my baby & me sessions when visiting and I have often had grandmothers buying gift vouchers from me for their children, but I haven’t addressed grandparents directly.
It got me thinking about passing on some tips to grandparents on how to best support their children on becoming parents. These tips have come out of my years of working with new families as well as my own experiences as a parent and now grandparent.
Do forward on to any Grandparents to be.
Grand Parenting Top Tips!
It can be tempting to buy lots of things for a new grandchild, especially when it’s your first but honestly, babies don’t need much at all in the beginning, especially if they have received lots of gifts already via baby showers or friends all wanting to welcome baby.
So remember - less is more, less stuff and more simply being there is often the best kind of support.
Rather than stuff how about something that will truly give support to a new mum such as the gift of a massage, or a block of Baby & Me classes where she will get to relax, bond with baby and meet other new mums.
New parents get hungry and tired. When cooking for yourself make double the quantity and take a nourishing meal around for the new parents. They will love you for it! Well nourished parents are more able to care for and nourish their new baby.
When your visiting make yourself useful – put that kettle on and while you’re at it get the next inevitable wash going. Is there a wash for hanging out to dry or for folding/ironing? Or maybe even hire them a cleaner for a few months.
A listening ear is always appreciated. There can be many concerns about how baby is doing – rather than trying to ‘fix it’ simply listen and maybe just offer a little reassurance of how different all babies are and a reminder that ‘this to will pass’.
Let the new parents know how well you think they’re doing. They will at times be doubting their abilities in this new role, even if they don’t say so. Your kind words of encouragement can greatly boost morale.
Importantly, be aware that thoughts around baby care will have changed since you were a new parent, so don’t take offence if your children’s parenting style is different to your own. Our role is to support rather than judge, so only give your advice if asked and try to be as constructive as possible.
Last but not least, remember that there are many ways to enjoy your grandchild and in the beginning that may mean being that extra pair of hands to wind a post feed baby, change a nappy or just a loving cuddle while mum eats lunch or goes the loo!
Happy days indeed!
Grandparents are more than welcome to attend my Let’s Talk about Baby – a great way of learning more about what the newer research on babies’ development and needs say, plus it can be a beautiful experience to share with your own child and will give you lots to discuss.
Please get in touch if you’d like to find out more about gift vouchers for the New Baby & Me course or private sessions, or if you have any questions about how you can help as a new grandparent.